S01E14 - Friends Do Not Slingshot Friends
#14

S01E14 - Friends Do Not Slingshot Friends

Madeleine:

Welcome back to Legend Lunchbox. Last time, the crew learned that the Weepingwood planks they found still need to be shaped and sky-set before they can repair the S.S. Distress. To do that, they need fresh Aziron from an abandoned mine a few days away. With Nixley as their guide, a supply cart, and a stubborn donkey named Ferd, the crew leaves Willowfoot and heads into the forest.

Chris:

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Guide (Chris):

So Nixley walks besides Ferd with one hand on the lead and the other on the cart. And every so often, he glances over like he wants to say something to guys, but then he he doesn't say anything. So what do you guys wanna do while you're on the road walking?

CAM (Tito):

So Nixley.

Guide (Chris):

Yeah?

CAM (Tito):

What did Trevor tell you when you left?

Guide (Chris):

Oh, he said to take you guys to the mine, and we're going to get some some Aziron because you guys need some for your ship. And then if if I find any extra Aziron or resinstone, I gotta bring that back to and Ferd here can can haul it all. So we should be good. It's a couple of days trip. I mean, there's some cool stuff to see on the way.

Lysander (Jay):

Okay.

Guide (Chris):

Why? Is that what you guys thought you were doing?

CAM (Tito):

No. That definitely thought we were doing. It just you seem a little on edge.

Guide (Chris):

Oh, me? No. It's just it's a long trip. You know, I gotta be careful.

CAM (Tito):

What what what kind of stuff is out here that we have to be careful about?

Guide (Chris):

Oh, there's you know, I mean, I mean, you got the Weeping Mother Tree. We're gonna walk past that. But, I mean, that's not really dangerous or nothing. There's some stuff out at the mine. You know, you gotta watch out. Barkbacks can get a little little cranky at times if you're if you're not too careful, and you gotta watch out for some of the the Bruins.

Squawk (Madeleine):

Bruins.

Guide (Chris):

Yeah.

Squawk (Madeleine):

Have we seen Bruins? I don't think we've seen Bruins.

Lysander (Jay):

I don't think we've seen a Bruin.

Guide (Chris):

No. They're like big kinda gray furred, and they sleep a lot, and they growl and big claws. And...

Lysander (Jay):

Is it a bear?

Guide (Chris):

Oh, yeah. Some people call them bears.

Squawk (Madeleine):

Someone

Rolo (Phil):

Oh, the bruin bears.

Squawk (Madeleine):

We did see one. And what did we do? We dropped a thing on its head. What did we do?

Guide (Chris):

You what?!?

Squawk (Madeleine):

I... We did something. Rolo did something. He took a nap.

Guide (Chris):

Oh.

Squawk (Madeleine):

We put a cage on him. It was a long time ago.

Guide (Chris):

Oh, that that's you guys must be really tough if you tangle with a bear.

Squawk (Madeleine):

Yeah. Not a scratch.

Guide (Chris):

Wow. Well, that's good. So where'd y'all come in from?

Rolo (Phil):

Uh, above?

Squawk (Madeleine):

Look around

Guide (Chris):

I figured that.

Lysander (Jay):

Yeah. It's a bit of bit of a rough landing.

Guide (Chris):

Yeah. We don't get all that many visitors no more.

Lysander (Jay):

How come?

Guide (Chris):

Well, he points up and just don't see all the stuff flying in the sky. It's it's too dangerous. A lot of people can't find us anymore. Yeah. Well, it's alright.

Rolo (Phil):

It was like we were pulled right towards you.

Guide (Chris):

Yeah.

Rolo (Phil):

I mean, we couldn't turn away.

Squawk (Madeleine):

It's like it was meant to be.

Guide (Chris):

That happens sometimes. Yeah. Sometimes some ships, you know, they there's some bad there's some areas where there's a lot of ships crashed and stuff. You know. So you gotta be careful around here, and there's just a lot of stuff up in the air. Yeah.

CAM (Tito):

Are you familiar with Lazuno?

Guide (Chris):

Lazuno? I I mean, yeah. I mean, that's where we are.

CAM (Tito):

But how how... Oh, I guess that's where we landed.

Guide (Chris):

I mean, I'm pretty familiar with it.

Lysander (Jay):

Rumia is where we were. Right? Rumia? Wasn't that the name?

Guide (Chris):

Oh, I I never heard of Rumia. Trevor's got rheumatoid arthritis. Is it it's kinda like that?

Squawk (Madeleine):

That's why he's onery...

Rolo (Phil):

It all comes together. All we gotta do is cure his arthritis, and he won't be grumpy anymore.

Squawk (Madeleine):

You know what helps with arthritis? Long johns!

CAM (Tito):

I mean...

Rolo (Phil):

Really?

CAM (Tito):

He wasn't really grumpy until Squawk asked him why he was grumpy.

Squawk (Madeleine):

Look. I just try to get to know people to really get into what matters.

Rolo (Phil):

You know what else? With the self awareness helps with...

Squawk (Madeleine):

What are you trying to say?

Rolo (Phil):

No. Like, when you ask someone about themselves, and then they get grumpy. Yeah.

Squawk (Madeleine):

I don't know if that was a dig. I'm choosing to ignore it.

Rolo (Phil):

It wasn't a dig. It wasn't about you! This wasn't about you.

Squawk (Madeleine):

I'm just gonna focus on the campfires. Everything will be fine. We'll just have some s'mores, a little donkey snuggle. It's gonna be fine. Should we ask Nix, Nixley about his his shifty looks? I don't like those shifty looks. He's I'm concerned that there's something on his mind.

Guide (Chris):

Wait. I got shifty looks?

Lysander (Jay):

Why don't you ask him?

Squawk (Madeleine):

Okay.

CAM (Tito):

You did already.

Rolo (Phil):

Yeah. I just ease away slowly.

Lysander (Jay):

Just and there's nothing really on his mind.

Squawk (Madeleine):

Okay. Okay. Young friend.

Guide (Chris):

Yes?

Squawk (Madeleine):

I'm a very perceptive bird, and I feel like there's something you wanna tell us that you wanna unload.

Squawk (Madeleine):

You've been glancing in our direction like there's something burd... unload your burden. You can talk to me. I'm a really good listener.

Guide (Chris):

Unload my bird to a bird?

Squawk (Madeleine):

You seem stressed.

Guide (Chris):

That's kinda funny. Well, sorry. I just I don't know.

Squawk (Madeleine):

I don't see how that's funny.

Guide (Chris):

No. I I mean, there's no I got nothing. Nothing bothering me, I don't think. I mean, I kinda like getting out of town once in a while. It's nice to to get out into the wilds.

Squawk (Madeleine):

It's just that we heard you were giving us shifty looks. Perhaps I misjudged.

Guide (Chris):

Wait a minute. I'm not shifty. Who told you I'm shifty?

Squawk (Madeleine):

Maybe he didn't say shifty. What did he say?

Guide (Chris):

Who's he?

Squawk (Madeleine):

Forget I said anything. Let's keep going.

Guide (Chris):

Wow.

Rolo (Phil):

You know, Squawk, I think there's something wrong with you... Are you feeling okay?

Squawk (Madeleine):

I mean, now that you mentioned it.

CAM (Tito):

Apparently, she's hearing voices.

Rolo (Phil):

Okay. I've got a theory. Just a little crazy. Hear me out. When you bolster us, maybe you unbolster yourself.

Squawk (Madeleine):

I do feel...

Rolo (Phil):

It's all about balance, dude.

Squawk (Madeleine):

Okay. Okay. Quick. Bolster me back, and then my bolster bolster tank will be full again. Everything will be back to normal, and I will be the best best friend ever.

Rolo (Phil):

Okay. Here it goes. I...

Squawk (Madeleine):

I'm ready!

Rolo (Phil):

Adjust my collar. I crack my knuckles. You are...

Squawk (Madeleine):

Give it to me.

Rolo (Phil):

Cool...

Squawk (Madeleine):

Oh my god. Really?

Rolo (Phil):

Ah, help me out, dude.

Lysander (Jay):

I start doing the bolster dance.

Rolo (Phil):

And presenting the bolster dance.

Lysander (Jay):

Doing a little shimmy over here.

Guide (Chris):

And she's pink!

Lysander (Jay):

Giving you good vibes.

Squawk (Madeleine):

I am pink.

Rolo (Phil):

And you're very pink. You're like the pinkest thing I've seen in a very long time.

Lysander (Jay):

And your helmet is very spiky.

Squawk (Madeleine):

It is.

Lysander (Jay):

It is.

Guide (Chris):

And she seemed very dangerous.

Squawk (Madeleine):

Thank you!

Lysander (Jay):

Very dangerous.

Squawk (Madeleine):

I just have to say, on my lagoon, no one ever bolstered me once, and that was the best thing that's ever happened. I will never be mad at you guys again. It includes you, Nixley. Group hug.

Guide (Chris):

Whaa!

Squawk (Madeleine):

Go with it.

Rolo (Phil):

Just go with it, Nixley.

Squawk (Madeleine):

Nixley.

Guide (Chris):

Oh, okay. What about Ferd?

Squawk (Madeleine):

He's in the he's he's already in there.

Guide (Chris):

Oh, okay.

Squawk (Madeleine):

It's happening.

Guide (Chris):

He gets he gets kinda cranky if you don't get hugs once in a while.

Squawk (Madeleine):

Oh.

Rolo (Phil):

We should have unattached him from the cart before we did this.

Guide (Chris):

Yes.

Squawk (Madeleine):

Cart hugs! Alright. Thank you so much. I'm not gonna talk for a while now. You guys can just handle things. I'm just gonna coast along, void wafting on the fumes of friendship.

Guide (Chris):

So you continue to travel through the forest, and you you occasionally catch glimpses of some of the wildlife up in the trees and some in the undergrowth on the side of the trail. And the rest of the day passes pretty quietly when Nixley finally says, well, normally, we get the Weeping Mother the first day, but we got a late start. So probably best we find somewhere to settle in now.

Rolo (Phil):

It's called Weeping Mother?

Guide (Chris):

Yeah.

Rolo (Phil):

Dude, that is such a downer.

Squawk (Madeleine):

I know.

Guide (Chris):

No. It's it's it's the the mother Weepingwood tree. So they call it the Weeping Mother.

Rolo (Phil):

Oh.

Squawk (Madeleine):

What happened to her?

Guide (Chris):

Well, I mean, she was the first tree here. All the other trees came from it.

Squawk (Madeleine):

She did she did not get bolstered, I think.

Lysander (Jay):

That's fascinating.

Squawk (Madeleine):

Okay.

Rolo (Phil):

But we're not there yet.

Guide (Chris):

No. We we would probably get there kinda midmorning tomorrow if we stop now.

CAM (Tito):

Well, what if we just kept going until we got there?

Squawk (Madeleine):

Then there'd be no smore's.

Guide (Chris):

I mean, we could, but I I I'd suggest that we don't push on too much more. You know, the trail gets a little bit rooty after this. And, you know, Ferd could probably pull the cart, you know, through that in the dark, but he probably won't. I mean, we can try. But...

Rolo (Phil):

Let me see if I have a light spell. No. I do not.

CAM (Tito):

Alright. Well, then I guess we're stopping for the evening.

Lysander (Jay):

I can make people see in the dark. Look at that.

Guide (Chris):

Nobody carries torches anymore?

Lysander (Jay):

Nope.

Squawk (Madeleine):

I mean...

Rolo (Phil):

Oh, yeah. Torches.

Squawk (Madeleine):

I have a disco ball...

Guide (Chris):

You are surrounded by flammable sap trees.

CAM (Tito):

I was about to say we can scrape up some sap off of the trees.

Lysander (Jay):

Yeah. I just start purring softly to myself, and then it starts to get louder and louder. And I walk by and I touch everybody on the shoulder And I purr softly for the next hour up to six nearby creatures gain the ability to see things nearby in complete darkness as if they were in a dimly lit room.

Squawk (Madeleine):

Are we those creatures?

Rolo (Phil):

Woah.

Lysander (Jay):

That's why I touched you. Affected creatures may occasionally feel the urge to stop and clean themselves, though.

Squawk (Madeleine):

Are you implying I need cleaning? My feathers are pristine. Pristine.

Lysander (Jay):

It's called wild aspect.

CAM (Tito):

I just kind of adjust my glasses a little bit, and the tint on my glasses changes colors, and then I can see.

Squawk (Madeleine):

This is awesome. There are so many bugs in the night.

Guide (Chris):

This is crazy. I never seen like this before.

Lysander (Jay):

Isn't that great?

Guide (Chris):

I said you did Ferd too?

Lysander (Jay):

I did. Yep. Oh, there's six of us. Right?

Guide (Chris):

Yeah.

Lysander (Jay):

Yep.

CAM (Tito):

Five. But yeah.

Guide (Chris):

Yeah.

Squawk (Madeleine):

Lucky donkey.

Guide (Chris):

Well, six if you count Ferd.

Squawk (Madeleine):

This is great.

Lysander (Jay):

Six in the six in the donkey. Oh, I I assume it didn't count yourself. Six other creatures.

Lysander (Jay):

Oh, well, well, it's it affects six creatures.

Rolo (Phil):

Do me twice!

CAM (Tito):

Uh-huh.

Rolo (Phil):

Touch me again.

Squawk (Madeleine):

But then you might be able to you might unsee.

Lysander (Jay):

No. You only get touched once. I only touch you once.

Rolo (Phil):

Oh, because then I could get double night vision, like a double werewolf! By the before the night is through, I'm gonna double something.

Guide (Chris):

What's a werewolf?

Rolo (Phil):

That's my quest. Oh, it's like a person who gets bit, and then they get like this disease that whenever there's a moon, they like go through this horrible painful transformation and turn into a wolf and they're all like, and then they become a wolf, then they go bite other people, and they become wolves. It's pretty cool.

Guide (Chris):

That don't sound cool to me.

CAM (Tito):

It's hypothetical.

Lysander (Jay):

What?

Guide (Chris):

Hypo what?

Rolo (Phil):

Is that like one of those big needles?

CAM (Tito):

Sure. It means it's not real. It's a myth.

Rolo (Phil):

Oh, hypodermic is what I was thinking of. No. It's the same thing.

Guide (Chris):

I see.

CAM (Tito):

Well, now that we can see, let's keep going until we get to the tree.

Guide (Chris):

Yeah. We can probably keep going.

Squawk (Madeleine):

I'm I'm just not yeah. I'm not talking because there's so much to see in the night. It's so sparkly. All these bugs.

Guide (Chris):

How long did you say it was gonna last, Jay?

Lysander (Jay):

It lasts up to an hour.

Guide (Chris):

Yeah. I don't think it goes gonna make tree tonight. You can get you can definitely get more distance, though, for sure.

Rolo (Phil):

We go fast!

Squawk (Madeleine):

We go fast! We run! I fly! I bonk.. bang into so many trees!

Rolo (Phil):

Through the darkness.

Squawk (Madeleine):

Let's go.

Rolo (Phil):

I jump up on top of a Ferd's back and and smack him in the back and go, go. Go. Go. Like the wind is beneath your hooves.

Guide (Chris):

You do that and he bucks, and then he takes off. Unfortunately, he tears the the straps holding him to the cart, and the cart just crashes down.

Rolo (Phil):

I grabbed it. I'm holding on with one hand to him and one hand to the cart. Roll for dexterity.

Guide (Chris):

So you're gonna roll for that one.

Rolo (Phil):

Alright. Here we go. I am I will be the thing that keeps the cart and the donkey together.

Guide (Chris):

You're the hitch.

Rolo (Phil):

And the hitch. And I rolled the two. Oh, man.

Squawk (Madeleine):

Oh.

Guide (Chris):

So you go to you you, like, reach back trying to grab onto the cart, and you're also trying to hold on to Ferd. And as you do that, basically, you just, like it wrenches you really hard to the left, and you get you take two points of damage from stretching out your shoulders.

Rolo (Phil):

Not going well.

Guide (Chris):

You tumble off of Ferd, and then Ferd takes off down the trail. Nixley is like, Ferd!

CAM (Tito):

I think he needs to let go of of the cart. But hold on to Ferd as Ferd continues to...

Rolo (Phil):

Information I should have used before I let go of Ferd.

Guide (Chris):

Ferd!! And so Nixley charges off down the trail after Ferd.

Squawk (Madeleine):

And I charge off after Nixley because...

Guide (Chris):

Okay.

Squawk (Madeleine):

Well... I'm just very brave.

Guide (Chris):

So Rolo, you're kinda hurting, but you can get up. What what are the rest of you guys doing?

Lysander (Jay):

I'm staying with the cart.

CAM (Tito):

I'm gonna go up to Rolo, and I am going to cast mend, which says it can restore up to five HP and mend minor wounds and bruises.

Guide (Chris):

Okay.

Rolo (Phil):

Oh, thanks, dude. Hopefully, you didn't have to roll for that. Otherwise, I thanked you too early.

CAM (Tito):

No. There's no roll for that.

Rolo (Phil):

Okay. Good.

CAM (Tito):

It just works.

Rolo (Phil):

I feel great!

CAM (Tito):

I cannot use it in combat, though. But...

Rolo (Phil):

I I think I should conjure a new donkey.

CAM (Tito):

Uh Oh.

Squawk (Madeleine):

It won't be Ferd though. It It won't be same.

CAM (Tito):

We still need our guide, though, that just ran off.

Guide (Chris):

Oh, and your flamingo who chased after your guide.

Rolo (Phil):

Oh.

Squawk (Madeleine):

I quickly come back because I immediately ran into a tree due to my poor flying abilities. Guys, the guide is gone.

Rolo (Phil):

But, we still got this nifty cart.

Squawk (Madeleine):

We do. We have all our long johns. We have friendship.

Rolo (Phil):

And how long before our night vision wears off?

Guide (Chris):

You probably got about half an hour.

Rolo (Phil):

Okay, great.

CAM (Tito):

But we also have no clue where we are or where we're going.

Lysander (Jay):

Well, we just continue down this trail, I guess. No. Until we find the mother tree.

Squawk (Madeleine):

I believe in us.

Rolo (Phil):

Let's do it.

Squawk (Madeleine):

Here we go.

Guide (Chris):

Alright. Alright. So you guys keep working down the trail. You walk for about another half an hour and it starts your vision starts to your your night vision starts to fade away. So you can still go, but it it's challenging. It's rough going. So, I mean, you'll have to start making some rolls if you guys wanna continue on.

CAM (Tito):

Do we see a trail from where the others ran off or anything?

Guide (Chris):

There is a visible trail that they were following. It's not well used. It's very rooty, and and it has not a whole lot of traffic on it. So but you can still see it through the undergrowth to a certain extent.

CAM (Tito):

We can still see, like, hoof marks or whatever going through there?

Guide (Chris):

Yeah. You definitely see hoof marks.

Squawk (Madeleine):

Look. I like pursuing dangerous dark stuff as much as the next guy, but we were talking about campfires and and sing alongs. So is maybe this is maybe that's now.

CAM (Tito):

We we lost our guide that was worried about being dangerous creatures and stuff here. He's now by himself with a crazy donkey, and we were supposed to protect him on the trail.

Rolo (Phil):

Well, don't worry. We can still all see in the dark. How much longer do we have on that?

Guide (Chris):

It just, it just ended.

Rolo (Phil):

Oh.

Lysander (Jay):

Maybe if we make a big enough bonfire, though, he could see the bonfire and come and get us.

Squawk (Madeleine):

Yes. That's good. He'll come back.

Rolo (Phil):

Great. Can't see the wood, though. Did anybody bring something to make a spark with?

Squawk (Madeleine):

I mean, my beak is very powerful.

CAM (Tito):

And then as they're talking, you just hear a clanking sound, and there's a small torch that's lit in CAM's hand.

Guide (Chris):

There you go.

Squawk (Madeleine):

You are my favorite.

Rolo (Phil):

Is that torch in the English sense or in the American sense?

CAM (Tito):

In the torch sense.

Rolo (Phil):

It well, is it a flashlight, or is it a fire is what I'm asking.

CAM (Tito):

It's a fire.

Squawk (Madeleine):

Okay. I take a few steps back because of feathers, but respect.

Rolo (Phil):

Dude, let's throw some sap on the ground here and make a campfire.

Squawk (Madeleine):

Alright.

Rolo (Phil):

I take a basketball sized piece of sap.

CAM (Tito):

Oh, jeez.

Rolo (Phil):

And I chuck it onto the ground.

Guide (Chris):

Okay.

CAM (Tito):

You making a fire or a bomb?

Rolo (Phil):

A bomb-fire. Isn't that what it's called?

Guide (Chris):

It will be after this. It'll be called Rolo's bomb-fire.

Rolo (Phil):

No. Wait. No. It's bon bon-fire. It's French.

Squawk (Madeleine):

Bon-fireh.

Rolo (Phil):

Bon-firuh.

Guide (Chris):

Oh boy.

Squawk (Madeleine):

Is fire happening?

Rolo (Phil):

Okay. So light it, dude. Go.

CAM (Tito):

Yeah.

Rolo (Phil):

Do it. Do it.

Squawk (Madeleine):

I'm gonna take a step back.

Rolo (Phil):

We all take a very big step back.

Lysander (Jay):

Yes.

CAM (Tito):

I'm just gonna take another twig. I'm gonna light that as I'm standing far away from this huge mound of sap, and we're just gonna toss a lit twig towards it and duck behind the tree.

Guide (Chris):

All of a sudden, you just hear this gigantic fireball, like...

Squawk (Madeleine):

Oh my gosh.

Guide (Chris):

Comes out of the whole clearing and, like, your eyes, like, get all dazzled because suddenly it's, like, the sun in front of you for about a half a second.

Squawk (Madeleine):

So cozy.

Guide (Chris):

So when the fire finally goes down, you guys noticed that a couple of you some of your eyebrows are a little singed. You know, a lot of the tree branches around the edges of the clearing are smoldering little flames on them.

Lysander (Jay):

Well, if he can't find us now...

Rolo (Phil):

Yep. Good news. He's got a good signal flare.

Squawk (Madeleine):

Yeah. I'm feeling cozy.

Rolo (Phil):

Oh, I think that's because there's a flame on your vest. Hold on. I start patting it out.

Squawk (Madeleine):

Oh my god. You saved my life.

Guide (Chris):

Alright. So you guys set up camp. And about half hour later, Nixley wanders back into camp, dragging Ferd.

Rolo (Phil):

Nixley, dude.

Guide (Chris):

Oh, man! That was not great.

Lysander (Jay):

Did you see our signal fire? Yeah. I think half half the world saw it. Good lord. What did you guys do?

Squawk (Madeleine):

That's all CAM.

Guide (Chris):

Man, they're gonna send out a search party just to make sure we're okay.

Squawk (Madeleine):

No. Because they know we're okay because I am with us and everyone could see my fierceness.

Guide (Chris):

Oh.

Squawk (Madeleine):

No one's complained.

Guide (Chris):

I'll make a suggestion. Try not to ride Ferd. He don't like that that much. Note taken. Yeah. He's not what you call a a riding donkey. He's more of a pulling donkey.

Rolo (Phil):

Very few of them are.

Guide (Chris):

Yeah.

Squawk (Madeleine):

It was worth a shot.

Guide (Chris):

Well, yeah, I guess so.

Rolo (Phil):

I just totally thought Ferd would, like, be in the spirit of things. And so that didn't work. Okay? Fair enough.

Guide (Chris):

Yeah. I mean...

Rolo (Phil):

Sorry, Ferd dude. Fist bump. I hold out my fist for Ferd.

Guide (Chris):

He just kinda looked at you. Blinks a few times.

Rolo (Phil):

We're clearly we're not over the problem yet. Well, I understand. We're still angry. That's cool. Take your time. I'll be over here.

CAM (Tito):

I'm gonna hand Rolo a carrot.

Rolo (Phil):

Oh.

Squawk (Madeleine):

You just have so much you just have so much good stuff.

Rolo (Phil):

And I I eat the carrot.

CAM (Tito):

It's for the donkey.

Rolo (Phil):

Oh, do you have another carrot?

CAM (Tito):

I pull out another carrot.

Rolo (Phil):

Okay. Thanks, dude.

Lysander (Jay):

Where did you get these carrots?

Rolo (Phil):

Oh, I ate that one too. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I I'm... God, I'm hungry.

CAM (Tito):

Well, now the donkey's really gonna hate you.

Guide (Chris):

I'm just saying the Ferd is definitely giving you the stink eye right about now.

Rolo (Phil):

Alright. Third carrot. I can't promise I won't eat this one.

Lysander (Jay):

Third carrot's a charm.

CAM (Tito):

I I don't trust Rolo now. I just go give Ferd the carrot.

Rolo (Phil):

No! Oh...

Squawk (Madeleine):

Now he loves you.

Guide (Chris):

So Ferd eats a carrot. Oh, that was nice. Thanks. Thanks for feeding Ferd. I got some I got some feed for him too.

Squawk (Madeleine):

You had feed for him. You've been giving him carrots? You had food for him this whole time?

Guide (Chris):

Well, yeah. I mean, there's food in the cart.

Lysander (Jay):

That's what's in the cart?

Guide (Chris):

Well, I mean, there's all the stuff. There there's stuff for the mine and then mining and stuff, but, you know, three days, I can't...

Rolo (Phil):

Hey. There's a beach umbrella in here!

Guide (Chris):

Well, yeah, in case it gets hot.

Squawk (Madeleine):

But is there s'more ingredients in the cart? Marshmallowy things, or did you we don't have those.

Guide (Chris):

No. We don't have marshmallows.

Squawk (Madeleine):

I I just needed to check.

Guide (Chris):

Yeah. Sorry.

Squawk (Madeleine):

Is there a bird...

Guide (Chris):

I got roasting sticks in case we find something else, but I don't know what what we could find.

Squawk (Madeleine):

I know what we could find.

Lysander (Jay):

Don't don't you live here?

Guide (Chris):

Yeah. I'm just saying, like, I I don't know what we're gonna find. Like, some there's some berries that are taste pretty good roasted. I haven't seen any yet. Of course, I was running out in the woods, and then I couldn't see nothing.

Rolo (Phil):

If we want to find marshmallows. We have to go to a marsh.

Guide (Chris):

Yeah. We don't have any here.

CAM (Tito):

So what what what about these berries? I I show them some of the berries that we gathered around our camp.

Guide (Chris):

Oh, those are good. Those... I mean, those aren't the ones I'm talking about, but you can roast those. Those are pretty good.

Rolo (Phil):

What about this mushroom? And I show him half a mushroom with a big bite out of it.

Guide (Chris):

Oh, you don't wanna eat those. Those those make you go crazy.

Rolo (Phil):

Oh, k. I didn't eat it...all.

Guide (Chris):

Oh, alright.

Squawk (Madeleine):

I quickly give Rolo the bit of trout milkshake I've been saving in my backpack to make him throw up.

Rolo (Phil):

I drink the trout milkshake. I do not throw up.

Guide (Chris):

Rolo's not gonna feel better later.

Lysander (Jay):

That's gonna sit well.

Rolo (Phil):

I'm gonna stand on the cart and go, whooooooo!

Squawk (Madeleine):

Oh, yeah. Well, Lysander missed this before so.

CAM (Tito):

What are the symptoms of those mushrooms?

Guide (Chris):

Well, they make you get a little crazy and stand on top of things and get all excitable.

Squawk (Madeleine):

Ah, the stand on top of things mushrooms.

Guide (Chris):

Yeah. And, well, I don't know. I only seen one person eat at once. They went a little crazy. They had to be locked up for, a week. It was not good.

Lysander (Jay):

Oh.

Squawk (Madeleine):

We don't have a week.

Rolo (Phil):

Rolo turns to everyone and with the most serious face says, blblblbhblah!

Guide (Chris):

Oh, wait a minute. He probably ate part of that mushroom, didn't he?

Lysander (Jay):

I I think so. Yes.

Guide (Chris):

Oh boy.

Squawk (Madeleine):

Okay. Crazy idea. I don't feel like we can't let him experience this alone. We're all best friends. Do we..

Lysander (Jay):

All eat the mushroom?

CAM (Tito):

No. We do not.

Squawk (Madeleine):

We can't leave our friend...

CAM (Tito):

Do not eat the mushroom.

Squawk (Madeleine):

I ah...

Rolo (Phil):

I start running around the campsite. I'm flying. I'm flying.

Squawk (Madeleine):

Hey. I'm gonna... Ok. We're not gonna all eat it? Just to... we're just gonna watch?

CAM (Tito):

No. We're we're not eating it. We're just gonna, like, chase after Rolo and try to tackle him.

Rolo (Phil):

Wheeeeaaaaahhh!

Squawk (Madeleine):

Who's the biggest? Go tackle him.

Rolo (Phil):

I run off into the night.

Squawk (Madeleine):

Oh, no.

Lysander (Jay):

Oh!

Guide (Chris):

And then there was four. Once again, we lose another one. Oh, man. I I'm not running off into the woods this time. You guys go get him. I I had enough of the woods. I'll stay here and keep the fire going.

Squawk (Madeleine):

Okay. Well...

CAM (Tito):

I'm gonna chase Rolo and, again, try to tackle him.

Guide (Chris):

Everybody's running after Rolo.

Lysander (Jay):

I'm gonna stay here.

Squawk (Madeleine):

I will rouse from the campsite. I will call rousing words into the forest. Go! Bravery! Speed! There. I'm encouraging CAM

CAM (Tito):

You trying to make him faster?

Lysander (Jay):

Come back, Rolo!

Squawk (Madeleine):

No. I'm encouraging CAM! He's being he's running after Rolo. Right?

Guide (Chris):

Rolo, I believe you heard that, didn't you?

Rolo (Phil):

What? All I hear is a machine chasing me through the woods. I'm totally freaked out, man. I look up to the treetops and cast blink.

Guide (Chris):

Rolo's suddenly in the top of the treetops.

Rolo (Phil):

And now I'm running through the treetops.

Guide (Chris):

Oh, dear.

CAM (Tito):

I don't think that's gonna end well.

Guide (Chris):

I think we're gonna need a roll for that one.

Rolo (Phil):

Yes.

CAM (Tito):

Well, at least it'll be easier to catch when he crash lands.

Rolo (Phil):

I rolled a 12.

Guide (Chris):

Alright. Oh. So you can run through the tree tops. So, CAM, as you're running after him, you see it's Rolo, but he seems to be more orangutan than Rolo right now. He's, like, swinging from branch to branch, and he's, like, yelling and screaming.

Guide (Chris):

And, I mean, he's a good 50 feet up off the ground.

CAM (Tito):

I was gonna cast something, but that might end up hurting him more at this point.

Rolo (Phil):

If I could give you some advice...blehblahbleh!

Lysander (Jay):

Well, cast your new spell on him.

CAM (Tito):

I'm gonna I'm gonna keep chasing after him.

Guide (Chris):

Okay.

CAM (Tito):

And I am gonna try to use my slingshot to trip him up a little bit.

Squawk (Madeleine):

Hold on. Friends do not slingshot friends.

CAM (Tito):

Well, Well, I gotta get him out of the tree before he hurts himself.

Guide (Chris):

So let's hurt him so he doesn't hurt himself.

Lysander (Jay):

Let's shoot him so he gets knocked out and falls. Fifty feet from the top of the tree.

CAM (Tito):

One way or another, he's gonna fall. At least if I could get him to fall near me, I can heal him.

Lysander (Jay):

Sounds like a great plan.

Guide (Chris):

Alright. Go ahead. Roll, CAM.

CAM (Tito):

That's an 18.

Guide (Chris):

Oh.

Lysander (Jay):

Oh.

Guide (Chris):

So, Rolo, you're running and something... like this tongue depressor. It's hits you really hard in the back of the leg because you know how hard tongue depressors hit.

Squawk (Madeleine):

He's just...

Rolo (Phil):

I fall. We've all been shot with a tongue depressor.

Guide (Chris):

I know, brutal.

Squawk (Madeleine):

Strange choice of ammo.

Guide (Chris):

So I think...

Rolo (Phil):

Well.

Guide (Chris):

So if you wanna stop, you could roll to see if you can not trip up.

Rolo (Phil):

I look back at CAM, and I say blehblahblah! And I run more into the treetop.

Squawk (Madeleine):

Am I calling out rousing things still?

Guide (Chris):

Sure, go ahead.

Squawk (Madeleine):

Rousing! This is like, get him. Go.

CAM (Tito):

Did I at least slow him down?

Guide (Chris):

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you're you're underneath him at this point. So you can but he still is, you know, forty, fifty feet above you. And he's moving slower than you because, of course, he's swinging and clambering through branches where you're just on the ground.

Rolo (Phil):

And sometimes I try to bite the branches. I eat them.

CAM (Tito):

I'm gonna wait for him to get maybe into a smaller tree, slightly lower down.

Guide (Chris):

Mhmm.

CAM (Tito):

As he's hopping from tree to tree.

Rolo (Phil):

You will never stop me. I jumped to the next tree. I rolled a 15. I jump to the next tree. I rolled an 18. I jumped to the next tree. 18 again. I'm really I jumped to the next tree. I rolled a nine.

Lysander (Jay):

Uh-oh.

Rolo (Phil):

And DM, what does the nine get me?

Guide (Chris):

So a nine is a success, but you get two possible setbacks.

Rolo (Phil):

I fall I fall halfway down the tree and smack into the trunk, but I'm still going. Oh, no. Now I rolled the two. The one that's...

CAM (Tito):

Now that he's halfway down the tree, and I don't think he'll get hurt as much, I'm gonna shout out, Rolo, you must be very tired at this point. And I'm gonna cast sleep.

Squawk (Madeleine):

Nice.

Guide (Chris):

Alright.

Lysander (Jay):

That's great.

CAM (Tito):

So there's no there's no roll or anything. So...

Rolo (Phil):

So I say, blehblahbl...snore....

Guide (Chris):

Then he just kinda...

Rolo (Phil):

And I'm falling right out of the tree.

Guide (Chris):

He falls out of the tree, and he lands just kinda, you know, U-shaped over top of a a branch about 10 feet off the ground.

CAM (Tito):

So I'm gonna go over, gather Rolo, and drag him back to camp.

Guide (Chris):

He's a mess too. Sorry, Rolo.

Rolo (Phil):

It's two nights in a row, man.

Guide (Chris):

You guys are causing trouble all over the place.

Squawk (Madeleine):

I got tired of rousing speeches, so I think Lysander and I what are we doing at the campfire?

Guide (Chris):

Yeah. While they're running around the woods, what do you guys do?

Lysander (Jay):

Well, I'm dancing around the fire doing my tribal ritual dance.

Guide (Chris):

Okay.

Squawk (Madeleine):

I mean, I'm singing at this. I yeah.

Lysander (Jay):

I'm being roused by her speech.

Squawk (Madeleine):

I'm singing. Camp fire's burning. Fire is burning. Draw nearer. Draw nearer. Yeah.

Guide (Chris):

So you noticed Nixley's kinda like, oh, man, Ferd we got ourselves some crazy ones with this trip. We'll try and keep them safe. I know. I know. I heard what you said, but, you know.

Lysander (Jay):

Wait. You can talk to the animal?

Guide (Chris):

Who? Me?

Lysander (Jay):

Yeah. You.

Guide (Chris):

Well, I mean, Ferd. I mean, Ferd. Ferd's Ferd.

Squawk (Madeleine):

Is Ferd a person?

Guide (Chris):

Well, I like to think he is.

Squawk (Madeleine):

Is he like a... okay. Is Ferd magic?

Guide (Chris):

Oh, well, I...

Squawk (Madeleine):

Because, like, I'm a flamingo and I'm magic.

Guide (Chris):

I I don't know why I say he's magic. I mean, he's he's a lot of fun at parties.

Squawk (Madeleine):

My kind of donkey!

Guide (Chris):

Yeah.

Squawk (Madeleine):

That's what I'm talking about!

Lysander (Jay):

He just doesn't like to be ridden.

Guide (Chris):

No. No. He don't like that. So while you guys are dancing and and talking to Nixley, CAM, you you drag Rolo back into camp.

CAM (Tito):

He was a little wily, but I got him.

Lysander (Jay):

What did you do?

CAM (Tito):

Ah, he's taking a nap right now.

Guide (Chris):

You don't wanna say I shot him, then I knocked him out of a tree, then I made him fall asleep.

CAM (Tito):

And as I put him back at camp, you know, since Nixley said the last person lasted about a week, and I know my spell's gonna wear off in a little about a half hour or so here. So I am going to tie up Rolo on like, chain him to the cart so he can't run off again.

Lysander (Jay):

Is that really necessary?

CAM (Tito):

It's just a precaution.

Squawk (Madeleine):

K. Well, I'm gonna I'm gonna go and sing him like a little lullaby because now I feel bad for him. I'm singing anyway. Kumbaya...

Lysander (Jay):

Leave a leave a milkshake for him. In case he gets thirsty.

CAM (Tito):

Thirsty.

Squawk (Madeleine):

I have these portable milkshake packs that I brought with me in my knapsack, so I'll leave one here.

Guide (Chris):

So Nixley goes over. He's like, you know, we can probably get him make them get sick and get that out of his system. He's like, there's so he goes around the outskirts of camp. He comes back with these leaves. Like, if we grind up these leaves and kinda get them in his mouth I mean, he's passed out now. We can just kinda grind them up, put them in his mouth, and it'll probably make him get sick. You just gotta be careful, you know, I mean, since he's passed out. You know?

CAM (Tito):

Or we could just wake him up.

Guide (Chris):

Oh, alright.

Squawk (Madeleine):

I mean, we start jumping on Rolo's head.

CAM (Tito):

So let's let's prepare the... prepare the leaves. We're gonna we're gonna smash up the leaves and everything, get them all grinded up and ready.

Squawk (Madeleine):

While I jump on his head.

CAM (Tito):

Shove a bunch of them in his mouth, and then have Squawk jump on his head to wake him up.

Guide (Chris):

So Rolo, you wake up. There's a flamingo in your hair. CAM is trying to shove his hand in your mouth with a bunch of leaves.

Rolo (Phil):

Dude what are you doing...

Lysander (Jay):

We're making you feel better.

Rolo (Phil):

Woah. Oh, my head was did did I turn into a butterfly?

Squawk (Madeleine):

Maybe we shouldn't talk about it.

Rolo (Phil):

Oh, man.

CAM (Tito):

You thought you were a butterfly. Stop eating mushrooms.

Rolo (Phil):

I had these crazy dreams.

Lysander (Jay):

Did you get bit by one?

Rolo (Phil):

I don't how does a butterfly even bite you?

Guide (Chris):

Oh, maybe...

Rolo (Phil):

All they can do is lick you with that curly tongue.

Guide (Chris):

Maybe he's a were butterfly.

Lysander (Jay):

Double were butterflies.

Squawk (Madeleine):

How is that not a thing?

Rolo (Phil):

I did it. Double were butterfly. I have achieved my quest.

Lysander (Jay):

Yes!

Rolo (Phil):

wow. What is going on now? Are we there yet? Is it still dark? Dude.

Squawk (Madeleine):

Milkshake?

Guide (Chris):

We haven't even slept yet!

Rolo (Phil):

Oh, okay. Good night!