Welcome to Legend Lunchbox, an actual play adventure set among drifting lands, strange skies, and the people trying to survive them.
Guide (Chris):Streaks of light dart through the Azure, wrapping around a small drifting moon below. Gray roiling fog clings low over a mottled stretch of swamp. Its brown and green foliage broken by bursts of muddy geysers that erupt from the surface. In one clearing, the tangled growth has been pushed back, revealing a small outpost.
Guide (Chris):A dozen buildings perch on stilts driven deep into the muck, connected by rope bridges and narrow paths of dry ground. Along the edges of the outpost, three wooden and metal ships rest on packed earth pads. Wooden gangplanks stretch up from the ground to the deck of each ship, each one a little different and none of them looking entirely ready.
Guide (Chris):CAM. You're standing in a cramped clinical workspace. Work tables crowd around you, cluttered with well used apparatus bubbling with strange liquids and giving off a faint metallic smell. The walls are a mixture of local woods and patched metal plates. Nearby, a fine netted enclosure holds four fist sized swamp scarabs flying erratically and bouncing off the mesh and each other.
Guide (Chris):Across from you, Guildmeister Gradlak stands, broad shouldered, heavyset, with a thick blunt snout. She reaches up and scratches at her jaw as she studies her notes.
Guide (Chris):This, this just isn't lining up. These things are supposed to be docile. What they produce heals. That's why the guild sent us here.
Guide (Chris):So what do you do?
CAM (Tito):Well, they seem pretty agitated. Something's got them all riled up.
Guide (Chris):Yeah. I don't know. I haven't seen this before. And as she's talking, one of the scarabs suddenly slams really hard into the side of the mesh in front of you, and you haven't seen that before.
CAM (Tito):Oh, man.
Guide (Chris):I mean, have you been able to figure anything out about these?
CAM (Tito):I mean, I isolated all the properties for the healing. There have been a couple of levels of their stress hormones are definitely elevated. We're not sure why.
CAM (Tito):Could be the season. It could be the phase that we're in. Not sure.
Guide (Chris):Yeah. Maybe. She pauses for a minute, and then she says, let me get one of those techs to go check the northern nest.
CAM (Tito):That sounds like a good idea.
Guide (Chris):And she looks at you and says, I'm glad we got you here. You CAM units are much better at researching than the standard medrigs.
CAM (Tito):That's what we're here for.
Guide (Chris):Squawk, you stand knee deep in thick sucking mud. The outpost is barely visible behind the foliage. Insects buzz lazily through the air, and something large splashes in a dark pool off to your side. Your signal set hums faintly at your side and then crackles to life.
Guide (Chris):Squawk. Squawk. You copy?
Squawk (Madeleine):I'm here.
Guide (Chris):We we need you to go check the northern nest. Let us know if something's going... Well, just let us know if the scarabs are acting normal.
Squawk (Madeleine):I will absolutely do my best. I will let you know. I am so excited to check that nest. I'm gonna do a really great job.
Guide (Chris):Alright. Report back as soon as you find anything.
Squawk (Madeleine):Okay. Where's the northern nest? Is it close?
Guide (Chris):To the north.
Squawk (Madeleine):Here we go.
Guide (Chris):So you trudge through the swamp.
Squawk (Madeleine):Trudge. Trudge. Trudge. Trudge.
Guide (Chris):I mean, you've been out in the swamp a couple of times. Things feel a little quiet, and you don't notice a whole lot of other creatures.
Squawk (Madeleine):Little spooky. Little spooky. That's fine. It's probably fine. It's totally fine.
Guide (Chris):Something feels just a little weird, but as you walk through the you know, you keep climbing through the mud, up ahead, you see a cone shaped nest rising up out of the swamp. And you definitely notice there are way more scarabs circling the nest than there normally are.
Squawk (Madeleine):So many scarabs. It's fine. It's fine. They're friendly. They're fine. It's fine. So cuddly.
Guide (Chris):Lysander, you hear shouting echoes through the bog as you crash through branches and brambles into the murk ahead. Your breath comes in short gasps as your heart pounds in your ears. You tuck the scroll you took on your way overboard into a small pouch for safekeeping. Closer than you expect, you hear a yell. Come back here, ya blasted deck rat!
Guide (Chris):The pirates are really close. What do you do?
Lysander (Jay):I quickly shape shift into a mouse and just scurry under some foliage.
Guide (Chris):So you shape shift into a mouse, and as you do that, suddenly, you're, like, you're kinda in this, like, boggy mud. So you're you're scrabbling, and you're having a hard time moving through it.
Lysander (Jay):What the heck is this? Blech. I turn my head to see if anybody's been following me.
Guide (Chris):So you don't see anybody, but you do hear the pirates crashing through the foliage behind you. Then you hear a loud splash, and then you hear a scream, AIIEEE, and then it just is cut off.
Lysander (Jay):So I'm gonna just slowly make my way as best as I can further from these sounds. And when I feel like the noise has been quieted, I come back to human form.
Guide (Chris):Okay. So you creep away real quietly. And you don't get too far, of course, because you're a mouse, but you don't hear anything else. It seems like whoever was chasing you has either stopped chasing you or something.
Guide (Chris):So you shape shift back into your human form, and you look back. You don't see anything. So then you just take off. And as you start running, you turn forward and you slam face first into a tree trunk.
Lysander (Jay):Doh! Oh, man.
Guide (Chris):The world kinda jolts sideways and you stumble and drop hard into the mud.
Lysander (Jay):Oh, blech. Well, it's better than being on that ship and all them pirates.
Guide (Chris):Rolo, you're in the lower hold of a ship. You look around and notice half the panels and covers are missing. Components are scattered across the floor, and parts of the ship's inner structure is exposed like someone pulled it apart without a whole lot of care.
Guide (Chris):You bend down and pick up an odd shaped piece of metal when a small speaker crackles to life somewhere in the ship. Hey. New guy.
Rolo (Phil):Yes? Oh, wait. I gotta press a button. Yeah. Hello?
Guide (Chris):Hey. Make sure you get all those systems pulled apart.
Rolo (Phil):Looks like they're already pretty pulled apart. I'm surprised this radio even works.
Guide (Chris):Well, yeah, you said you knew how to pull those things apart, so make sure that you get them all pulled apart and don't break anything. Alright?
Rolo (Phil):Pull them apart, but don't break them. Okay.
Guide (Chris):And then the speaker kinda go silent.
Rolo (Phil):I wince and pull things apart and just hope that nothing breaks.
Guide (Chris):Okay. So you start just grabbing some cables and wires?
Rolo (Phil):Just fistfuls of cable, and I pull on them.
Guide (Chris):So as you pull it, you're like, you just start ripping wires out, and you see, like, covered in dust. You see, like, a little nameplate on the wall.
Rolo (Phil):Oh, what's it say?
Guide (Chris):So you dust off the the dust, and it says, commissioned S.S. Distress.
Rolo (Phil):It's called distress? That's a terrible name for a ship. Good thing I'm dismantling it.
Guide (Chris):So as you look around the patchwork interior, you see a battered captain's hat hanging loosely off a peg nearby.
Rolo (Phil):Oh! A captain's hat? Yeah. Okay. So, like, I totally put on the captain's hat because I figure if I'm the only one on the ship, right, I'm totally the captain. So, yeah, stoked.
Rolo (Phil):Putting on the captain's hat, and then I continue to rip stuff apart without breaking anything.
Guide (Chris):Okay. CAM, the scarabs haven't settled yet. Their color seems to be shifting now from a dull yellow to a deeper reddish orange as they slam erratically against the mesh, seemingly harder each time. Gradlak shakes her head. That's not normal.
Guide (Chris):What are you checking?
CAM (Tito):I'm gonna see if they're all kinda going in trying to go the same direction.
Guide (Chris):They seem to just be randomly skittering about inside the the little enclosure, and it doesn't even seem like they're really paying attention because, like, sometimes they just smash headlong into each other. Sometimes they clip each other. It's like almost like they're not really aware or something is just off. Like, they're just flying around kinda wild.
CAM (Tito):I'm gonna check to see if there's any kind of signals or interference that could be drawing them or agitating them.
Guide (Chris):Okay. So you start looking at some of your instruments, and Gradlak shakes her head as she grabs a coat. This this shouldn't be happening. She turns and heads for the door. Keep working. I need to go check on something.
CAM (Tito):Okay.
Guide (Chris):Squawk. The air hums with movement now. Scarabs swirl around the nest in tight erratic patterns.
Guide (Chris):A deep vibrating buzz ripples out from the cone disturbing the water around it. What do you do?
Squawk (Madeleine):I freak out a little bit, but I keep it inside because I'm supposed to be professional. I really don't wanna lose this job, and I've never had a job before, and I don't wanna screw it up. So I do a little freak out dance. And I'm getting really nervous, and I hop up and down a bit.
Squawk (Madeleine):And I go, help... I don't do it really loudly because I really don't wanna bother anyone. And I throw a stone, and I get as far away as I can from the nest. And I throw it at the nest, and then I back away.
Guide (Chris):So you throw it. And as you do it, you see the scarabs are all starting to cluster together. Some of them are kinda colliding. And when you throw the the rock through it, actually, some of them start coming your direction.
Squawk (Madeleine):I mean, I knew it was a bad idea, but I just was I just reacted. So they're coming my direction.
Guide (Chris):Just a couple of them.
Squawk (Madeleine):So they don't look super friendly, I'm guessing?
Guide (Chris):I mean, they're swamp beetles. I don't really know if you know their emotional states.
Squawk (Madeleine):So they're coming my direction, so I'm just gonna, like, slowly I'm gonna do some backwards hopping. A little bit of backwards hopping.
Guide (Chris):K. So suddenly, the nest shudders, and the top of it begins to crumble inward. And then a surge of wings burst outwards as a swarm pours out of the opening. So are you gonna stay here, or are gonna try and get out of here?
Squawk (Madeleine):I don't like it at all... I'm gonna freak out. I'm gonna fully freak out, and I'm gonna run, And I'm probably since no one's around to see, I'm probably gonna scream a little... Squawk scream.
Guide (Chris):Alright. So, Lysander, you hit the mud hard. It's definitely thicker than it should be, and it feels kinda warm.
Lysander (Jay):This isn't right. How come it's warm as I'm I'm, like, patting it with my hands?
Guide (Chris):So as you're patting it, it feels like it's really thick on the top, but as your hands go down deeper, suddenly it feels very, I wanna say, almost like watery, like it's thinning out. And then you almost feel like movement underneath the surface and some bubbles start gurgling up.
Lysander (Jay):So I try to get up on all my feet.
Guide (Chris):Okay.
Lysander (Jay):And is it moving in a certain direction, or is it just all around me?
Guide (Chris):Yeah. It's just almost like a whole bunch of movement all over.
Lysander (Jay):Is there a rock or a tree, something nearby that I could jump up on or swim at?
Guide (Chris):So you try to start standing up and... Rolo. You try to see if the metal piece you found fits inside the panel in front of you as you're pulling the wires out, but it just doesn't seem to fit right. The ship suddenly shifts just slightly. What are you gonna do next?
Rolo (Phil):Was it, like, more of a mechanical shift or, you know, just like the tide?
Guide (Chris):Feels kinda like the whole ship just tilted a little bit to the starboard.
Rolo (Phil):Okay. Starboard's the front. Right?
Guide (Chris):If you wanted to be sure.
Rolo (Phil):I try to jam the metal piece into various places like this place. Does it fit?
Guide (Chris):So you start jamming it in and it it doesn't seem to fit right. But if you jam it in hard enough, it will fit.
Rolo (Phil):I find another piece of metal on the floor, and I use it to hammer this piece of metal. You know, this works with jigsaws, I found. If you just hammer it, it totally fits. So there you go.
Guide (Chris):So as you hammer it, you're like, bang, bang, bang. And then, like, a panel on the other side of the room just kinda falls off and clatters on the floor.
Rolo (Phil):Oh man...Well, I go and I start hammering that panel.
Guide (Chris):So as you hammer that, suddenly, like, a porthole falls out of the other side. And just as it does that, you see movement of, like, a shadow go across the outside of the porthole.
Rolo (Phil):Woah. I quietly quietly grab the porthole and stick it back into the place it fell from and then hammer it back into place!
Guide (Chris):So as you do that, you see a small panel over near the stairs labeled Comms. It kinda flickers to life. And then with a dull hum, you just hear, like, this crackling snippets of a voice. Like, it's not coming in very clear, and you just hear...balance...too many...no, no predators. Get get old!
Rolo (Phil):I walk over to the Comms panel, and I hit it with my hammer!
Guide (Chris):Well, it stops talking.
Rolo (Phil):Oh, sometimes it works better when you hit it with something. That was that was not my intention.
Guide (Chris):Okay. And you hit it, and it dents, and then it just kinda goes and just crackles out.
Rolo (Phil):I continue hammering.
Guide (Chris):Okay. Squawk, you charge forward through the thicket, and your footing gives way, you pitch forward beak first into the mud.
Squawk (Madeleine):Squawk!
Guide (Chris):Lysander, as you try to get up from the mud, a streak of pink flashes across your vision, and a flurry of feathers lands heavily upon you pushing you back down into the mud.
Lysander (Jay):Hey, oh, what the...I come up sputtering. What is this?
Guide (Chris):So as the two of you try to untangle yourself, Squawk, you see a mud covered humanoid, his dark hair plastered to his face with strange tattoos all over his skin visible underneath you. And Lysander, you're looking up at a small pink feathered creature with a spiked helmet, and she's flailing her wings wildly as she tries to regain her balance.
Squawk (Madeleine):But gracefully!
Lysander (Jay):I I kinda, like, try to corral the feathers. Like, stop. Stop. You're splattering me with the mud. Stop. Stop!
Squawk (Madeleine):And then I'm super embarrassed, so I try to make it look like I was going for a hug. So I wrap my arms around him really my wings around him really, really tight and I squeeze, like, pretending maybe I didn't fall because I'm super, super embarrassed.
Lysander (Jay):So now we're embraced in this hug.
Squawk (Madeleine):Yes.
Lysander (Jay):You can let go a little bit. I can't breathe.
Squawk (Madeleine):Okay. It's so nice to meet you. I I let I let go, and I I realize that my ruse is not working, and I hang my head. I'm embarrassed because I've messed up my job. This might be a boss guy. I don't even know when I'm gonna get fired.
Lysander (Jay):What are you doing here?
Squawk (Madeleine):I'm just doing my job. I'm doing a really good job. I'm I'm not messing anything up, and I'm just checking on some beetles and nothing.
Lysander (Jay):I woah. I put my hand up. Woah. Are you a pirate?
Squawk (Madeleine):I mean, not yet. No. No.
Lysander (Jay):Okay. Good.
Squawk (Madeleine):I'm not a pirate. No.
Lysander (Jay):I'm not a pirate either.
Squawk (Madeleine):No. I didn't think you were. You seem super nice already. Can we be friends?
Lysander (Jay):Sure. Sure.
Squawk (Madeleine):Oh my...
Lysander (Jay):Do you have somewhere to stay that it's not muddy like this?
Squawk (Madeleine):Do you mean, like, a sleepover? Is that what you're saying?
Lysander (Jay):Well, no. But can we, like, get out of the mud?
Squawk (Madeleine):Yes. You can come back to my house and we can hang out and we can have some soda pop, and I'll tell you all about my life. Can we go now?
Lysander (Jay):Sure.
Squawk (Madeleine):Amazing.
Guide (Chris):So as you guys are talking, the ground beneath you starts to shift, and you see a surge of scarabs come up through the muck, and they start crawling through the mud in your direction.
Lysander (Jay):Is is this something normal?
Squawk (Madeleine):I mean, I haven't been here long, but they are not usually so surgy. So I feel like we should go to my place, like, really soon.
Lysander (Jay):Okay. Let's go.
Squawk (Madeleine):Okay. And I...
Lysander (Jay):Do you know what, like, what they are? Like, is this something we should be concerned, like, running?
Squawk (Madeleine):I mean I mean, I study them. They're sort of my job, but I can't really say I know anything about them. So, I mean, I you know, it's good exercise, so why don't we run? And then if there was a problem, we would have prevented it and also exercise!
Lysander (Jay):Okay. Sure. Okay. Well, you lead the way. I'll follow you.
Squawk (Madeleine):Okay. I'll sing. Walking with my friend. Walking with my friend.
Guide (Chris):Alright, CAM. The building trembles causing the glass and metal instruments to rattle loudly. Then after a moment of silence, a deep resonant horn starts blaring through the outpost. How do you respond?
CAM (Tito):Do I know what that horn is?
Guide (Chris):You know that's not normal. You've heard it once during an evacuation drill.
CAM (Tito):Okay. Well, something's obviously gone wrong. So everything just started shaking?
Guide (Chris):Yeah.
CAM (Tito):Alright. I'm gonna assume there was an explosion or something, so I'm gonna go outside and see what's going on.
Guide (Chris):K. So as you step outside, you see people running and screaming.
CAM (Tito):I try to grab one of them and ask them what's going on.
Guide (Chris):Okay. Rolo, the ship lurches much harder this time, and it throws you off balance and onto the floor. As you clamber back to your feet, you hear a deep horn starting to blare somewhere off in the distance. Do you wanna investigate?
Rolo (Phil):Woah. No, dude. You know what? I'm not gonna do anything because the horn is not on the ship. And whatever's going on off the ship, totally not my responsibility, dude.
Rolo (Phil):I am not getting fired from this job. I'm gonna do a good job because I really need the money. So I'm just gonna stick to what I'm doing, man, which is, like, pulling things apart and not breaking anything else.
Guide (Chris):Okay. So as you're doing that, you hear something outside, like, crash and break and, like, hit up against the hull of the ship.
Rolo (Phil):Oh, wow. Okay. Well, that definitely does sound like something that's going on with the ship, and therefore, it's my responsibility to, make sure that, nothing gets, broken. So I'm gonna go up the stairs to that little, you know, the little hatchy door thing, and I'm just gonna check out what's going on outside.
Guide (Chris):Squawk and Lysander. As you charge ahead, you see the outpost structures through the fog. You watch as a metal and wooden ship pulls free from its moorings, lurching slightly as the sails catch something in the air and it drifts upwards into the Azure.
Squawk (Madeleine):Pretty.
Guide (Chris):Stepping from a nearby building, you see an iridescent blue skinned humanoid moving with a robotic gait looking your direction.
Lysander (Jay):Hey. So I'm Lysander.
Squawk (Madeleine):Are you talking to me? Because I already know that...
CAM (Tito):What's a Lysander?
Squawk (Madeleine):Oh uhm, yes. Lysander is my new friend and you are my second new friend. So we are freaking out a little and singing some songs. So how come you're blue? What's up? Why what's that about?
CAM (Tito):I'm always blue. It's what I look like.
Squawk (Madeleine):This is so pretty. Amazing. I'm so proud of you. Do you have any knowledge?
CAM (Tito):Do you guys know what's going on?
Squawk (Madeleine):No. This I know. I thought it was I thought he would know. We don't know.
CAM (Tito):I was in my lab doing some tests, and I heard this horn going off, and everybody seems to be running around like crazy.
Squawk (Madeleine):Yeah. But lab and test sounds really smart. You thought you were doing smart guy stuff. You must know something.
CAM (Tito):Well, what were you doing?
Squawk (Madeleine):I was doing just first time job stuff. I was doing a really good job, and then there was surging. And now I have a best friend, so that's good. But...
CAM (Tito):Surging? What was surging?
Squawk (Madeleine):I don't wanna talk about it. Lysander, you you tell him.
Lysander (Jay):The the ground. It's all bubbling up and, like, the these bugs are coming out of the ground like crazy, and the they liquefied the earth kind of thing. And then...
CAM (Tito):Bugs like scarabs?
Lysander (Jay):Yeah. These bugs that are running around all over the place.
Squawk (Madeleine):Totally.
Guide (Chris):As you guys are talking, you actually see clouds of them starting to swarm around the outskirts of the outpost. And you see that first ship basically taking off up into the Azure. You see other people running around frantically. They're trying to run to the other pair of ships.
CAM (Tito):Oh, I got I gotta find Guildmeister Gradlak. Gotta she must know what's going on.
Squawk (Madeleine):Do you think those those guys there are, like, just going for a sail or, like, maybe is there an escape happening? Because I...
CAM (Tito):I think they're getting out of here. And you guys probably look at doing that as well.
Squawk (Madeleine):Yes.
Lysander (Jay):I just got here!
CAM (Tito):What do you mean you just got here?
Lysander (Jay):Literally, I just got here. Literally, like, just maybe fifteen minutes.
CAM (Tito):Only authorized personnel are supposed to be on this island.
Squawk (Madeleine):You be nice!
Lysander (Jay):I was authorized before, and then when I got off the ship, the ship is going, and I was trying to get back, but it's I can't because it's over there, like, way over there. So.
Squawk (Madeleine):Plus he's with me, so obviously fine because I work here. Okay? Be polite, blue guy.
CAM (Tito):What section do you work in?
Squawk (Madeleine):The beetle... Doesn't matter. It's my first job. I'm a fi... I have a badge!
Guide (Chris):She does have a badge.
Lysander (Jay):I don't have a badge. No. Like I said, I was on that ship over there that's going away, and I was out there doing something. And then when I came back, now the ship's over there.
CAM (Tito):Well, it seems like they left you, so you might wanna find some other transport out of here.
Squawk (Madeleine):Yeah. Let's do that. Let's maybe find some other transport. Good idea.
CAM (Tito):Well, let's go to the second escape ship. It's right down this way.
Squawk (Madeleine):Let's go.
Guide (Chris):Alright. So, Rolo, through a small opening as you're peeking out through that little hatchway, you catch a glimpse of a ship pulling up off into the sky.
Rolo (Phil):Okay. Well, that one seems to be working just fine, but not sure what has to do with me. Oh, yeah. Right. So what fell?
Guide (Chris):So you see there's a large tree that basically collapsed and clipped the backside of the ship.
Rolo (Phil):Oh, dude. Did it did it break anything?
Guide (Chris):You you can't really tell because the ship's kind of a mess already.
Rolo (Phil):Right.
Guide (Chris):But it does look like there is some broken timbers and and a few other things laying on the ground near the the tree. It's no longer laying on the the ship. It, like, hit it and then bounced off and landed on the ground.
Rolo (Phil):Oh, phew. Okay. Well, if anyone asks, I'm gonna claim that that part was already dented and had nothing to do with me. Dude, it was a tree fell on the ship. Not my responsibility.
Rolo (Phil):So you know what, dude? I'm just gonna head on back downstairs, keep doing my job, eyes on the prize, hitting things with my hammer
Guide (Chris):Okay.
Rolo (Phil):Not breaking them.
Guide (Chris):Alright. So you climb back down into the hold. Lysander, CAM, and Squawk, you all push towards the next ship when suddenly the structure ahead of you groans and then collapses. Who's out front?
Squawk (Madeleine):Who's out front?
CAM (Tito):I guess I was leading them away. Right?
Guide (Chris):Okay. Yeah. So timbers and beams kinda collapse all around sliding off the supports above. CAM, something hits you hard on the back and knocks you prone before you can do anything, it all goes dark, and you hear debris pile up on top of you. So Squawk and Lysander, do you leave him? Do you help? What do you do?
Lysander (Jay):Well, I dive in to help.
Guide (Chris):Okay.
Lysander (Jay):Start pulling timbers part way and call him.
Guide (Chris):How about you, Squawk?
Squawk (Madeleine):I just start frantically pecking at the timbers. I'm trying to help, but I'm not very strong in the muscle department. But my pecking is very frantic and sometimes lethal. So take that planks.
CAM (Tito):Ow. That wasn't timber.
Guide (Chris):Yeah. I was just gonna say. CAM, So as you're sitting there. You see this beak popping through all the holes every once in while. Pecks you right in the forehead.
Lysander (Jay):I mean, are they heavy enough? Are they light enough that I can move...
Guide (Chris):I mean, you can pull them apart.
Lysander (Jay):Okay.
Squawk (Madeleine):Okay.
Guide (Chris):So as you pull CAM from the rubble, you finally break free and then turn to run towards the second ship. It's only about a dozen strides away, but you can see the larger propeller turning faster than it should be as the ship strains against its own weight.
Guide (Chris):CAM and Squawk, you notice Guildmeister Gradlak up on the deck of the second ship, and you see her point over the edge and bellow, Wait! There's... But before she finishes, the gangplank drops down to the mud, and the ship noses up and pulls away from the ground, the propeller momentarily drowning out the blaring emergency horn.
CAM (Tito):Well, that's a problem.
Lysander (Jay):Is there another ship?
Squawk (Madeleine):Oh, that is so rude.
CAM (Tito):There's only one other ship when we first came, but it's been decommissioned. I don't know if it still works.
Squawk (Madeleine):What's decommissioned? It doesn't matter. Let's go find it. Let's go find it.
Guide (Chris):Okay. Rolo, the ship continues to shake and rattle as the speaker once again crackles to life. But this time in a crystal clear soothing voice. An emergency has occurred. Please move calmly to the nearest ship. And then after a slight pause, the message repeats, An emergency has occurred...
Guide (Chris):So, Rolo, what are you what are you doing now?
Rolo (Phil):Well, I'm fine because I'm on the nearest ship, so I'm alright. I I thank the thank you, message lady. Oh, hey. While I have you, message lady, so do you know, like, there's, like, the stack of buttons over here? Not sure what they do.
Rolo (Phil):Not sure how to dismantle them without breaking anything, though. So thought I'd get your advice. What what do you think?
Guide (Chris):Please move to the nearest ship. An emergency has occurred.
Rolo (Phil):Yeah. I got that part. Thank you, message lady. Real good. But I was wondering if you could help me.
Guide (Chris):An emergency has occurred...
Rolo (Phil):Maybe are you reading me, message lady?
Guide (Chris):Move calmly to the nearest ship.
Rolo (Phil):I hit it with my hammer!
Guide (Chris):... please! And it just cuts out.
Rolo (Phil):Wait. She never said please before.
Guide (Chris):CAM, Lysander, and Squawk, before you guys think about what to do next, you hear a great roar and the ground shakes under your feet. You turn towards the sound and you see a large portion of the ground between you and the final evacuation ship slump down and disappear into a large sinkhole. Swarms of scarabs tear up through the large opening carried on jets of steam and mud. You only have a moment to decide. What do you do?
CAM (Tito):I'm not going that way.
Lysander (Jay):Yep. Nope.
Squawk (Madeleine):I try to really, really hard to grab onto them both with my feet and lift them up. I flap my wings so hard. I wanna save everyone, but I I think it's they're too heavy.
Guide (Chris):They're probably too heavy.
Squawk (Madeleine):Yeah. Also, I can't fly straight. I mean, should we freak out? We I mean, we we could freak out a little.
Lysander (Jay):What's that gonna do?
Squawk (Madeleine):It would just get our feelings out, and then we would feel, like, bonded in our first...
CAM (Tito):Well, we're just gonna have to try the last ship.
Lysander (Jay):Yeah. Well, while you freak out, can you walk and freak out?
Squawk (Madeleine):Is the ship nearby? I didn't okay. I was just focused on the canyon of steam. Yes.
CAM (Tito):Only bad news is it's back towards the swamp.
Squawk (Madeleine):That's the I'm not gonna freak out then. I'm gonna go there. Let's turn around. I mean, I'm freaking out a bit.
Guide (Chris):So you run towards where you think the last ship is. And as you're running, walkways are collapsing underneath you. Swarms of insects and scarabs are tearing through the air, and globs of mud are falling from the sky from the muddy geyser shooting them up into the air. You run down a narrow footpath from the outpost, foliage whipping by until you break into a clearing.
Guide (Chris):Standing awkwardly on uneven pilings driven into the muddy landing pad is a patched ship slightly tilted to one side like it never settled right.
Guide (Chris):A large tree lays on the ground next to it. Sections of the hull are missing. Exposed beams, lines, and strange fittings are beneath it, and a slack sail hangs above rigging drooped in loose mismatched lines. Looks like somebody started taking it apart but never finished, but yet it's still holding together. You see a tattered rope ladder hanging down over the side.
Guide (Chris):What do you do?
CAM (Tito):Climb up the ladder.
Lysander (Jay):Does that ship work?
CAM (Tito):We're about to find out.
Lysander (Jay):Yeah. Let's go.
Guide (Chris):Okay. So you guys start clambering up the ladder. Rolo, you hear some noise up on the deck. What do you do?
Rolo (Phil):I better go check to see if it's another tree or something.
Guide (Chris):K. So as you climb up to investigate, across a large rectangular opening in the deck, it's partially covered by, like, a sliding panel. You see a dirty flamingo in a spiked helmet, a mud covered human with tattoos, and an iridescent blue skinned humanoid in muck standing there.
Rolo (Phil):Yo. Sup?
Lysander (Jay):Captain, you gotta get us out of here.
Squawk (Madeleine):Also, hi.
CAM (Tito):Do you see in the distance there?
Rolo (Phil):Ah, yeah.
CAM (Tito):You see that big wave of red glowing scarabs coming?
Rolo (Phil):Wave? Woah.
CAM (Tito):Yes. Look right behind us.
Rolo (Phil):Ah, woah. That wave is not made of water.
CAM (Tito):No. It's not.
Rolo (Phil):What is it?
CAM (Tito):Bugs. Lots and lots of bugs.
Squawk (Madeleine):Super.
Rolo (Phil):Is that what a scarab is?
Squawk (Madeleine):Mhmm.
CAM (Tito):Yes.
Rolo (Phil):Woah.
CAM (Tito):So we need to get out of here now.
Rolo (Phil):Okay.
CAM (Tito):Start up the ship.
Squawk (Madeleine):I mean, please. Please. Pretty please.
Rolo (Phil):Yeah. Yeah. No. I will be right back, and I go downstairs. And I find the thing with the buttons, and I start pressing the button.
Guide (Chris):Okay. So CAM, Squawk, and Lysander, you guys basically see this long blonde haired elf wearing a captain's hat charge down the stairs. And then you just start hearing, like, I think it's this one. And it's like, you just hear a bunch of clicks. And, like, every once in a while, you'll hear, like, and, like, nothing seems to be happening.
CAM (Tito):I'm gonna run downstairs.
Guide (Chris):Okay. So you run down, and there's a, like, a ladder going down to kinda, like, this mid deck area where there's some like, a a little common area and a couple of hammocks, and then there's a ladder going down, which is where Rolo is.
CAM (Tito):I guess I'm gonna go towards the clicking and yelling and stuff.
Rolo (Phil):And hammering.
CAM (Tito):And hammering.
Guide (Chris):Okay. So you go down the ladder and Rolo tell him what he sees.
Rolo (Phil):I am hammering the console going, dude, come on. Dude, just work. Come on!
CAM (Tito):Captain?
Rolo (Phil):Where?
CAM (Tito):I'm not sure that's how the ship works.
Rolo (Phil):Oh, yeah. May... it may look like that, but look, let me tell you, I've been here longer than you, and I found out that sometimes hammering is effective. However, I'm open to suggestion.
Lysander (Jay):Hey ah, I yell down the hatch. Anytime you guys wanna get the ship started, the wave's getting closer.
Rolo (Phil):We'll be right with you!!
Squawk (Madeleine):And I feel really stressed about all the big feelings that are happening, so I get my bag of freeze dried shrimp, and I just scatter some down there to because snacks always help with grumpiness. So.
Guide (Chris):CAM, as you're just stand there. A bunch of freeze dried shrimp start hitting you in the head.
Squawk (Madeleine):There you go!
CAM (Tito):I'm gonna walk up to the console, I'm gonna point at the start button.
Rolo (Phil):You gonna press that start button or just point at it?
CAM (Tito):You're the captain. I can't touch it.
Rolo (Phil):I'm the captain? Oh. Yeah. We'll talk about that later. Okay. Pressing the button.
Guide (Chris):Okay. So you push the button, and suddenly the ship begins to rattle and vibrate, and then violently steam shoots out of the holes in the side of the ship.
Rolo (Phil):Nice. High five! High five?!
CAM (Tito):I just kinda stare at him.
Rolo (Phil):Oh, not cool.
Squawk (Madeleine):I heard someone and then I zoomed down because I heard someone say high five, and I can't miss it. So so fast, I hug, high five him.
Rolo (Phil):Waaah!!
Squawk (Madeleine):I know it wasn't for me, but I can't leave you hanging.
Rolo (Phil):Dude, personal space.
Squawk (Madeleine):What is that?
Rolo (Phil):Yo. Ah, pigeon lady. What's going on? Are you attacking me or what?
Squawk (Madeleine):Yes. I am attacking you with friendship. I'm just really excited about what's happening right now. Yeah. And high fives are important, so I didn't wanna leave you hanging. Now let's go.
Rolo (Phil):Yeah. Okay. Are we not going yet?
Lysander (Jay):No.
Rolo (Phil):Okay. Robot dude, could you point at another button maybe?
CAM (Tito):Well, we started the engines. Did you put down the sails?
Rolo (Phil):Ripping down the sails was one of my jobs, but I hadn't gotten to it yet.
CAM (Tito):Why would you rip down the sails?
Rolo (Phil):Well, it was on my list of things to do.
CAM (Tito):No. No. We need them up.
Rolo (Phil):Well, now you need them up. Okay. Well, fair enough. The sails...
Lysander (Jay):Guys, the wave's getting closer. I can actually see eyes.
CAM (Tito):I'm just...
Rolo (Phil):Okay. Look. Just for argument's sake, let's say that I don't know how one of these ships moves. Do we use the wind or something? How do we actually...
Squawk (Madeleine):I think you use the power you just have to believe in yourself in your heart.
Rolo (Phil):Oh, okay.
CAM (Tito):Okay. You guys keep believing in yourself. I'm gonna believe in the thrusters, and I'm just gonna crank the thrusters all the way forward.
Guide (Chris):Alright. So you push a lever, and Lysander, as you're standing up in the deck, the mainsail suddenly furls all the way back up. And then it suddenly furls all way back down, and it smashes onto the deck.
Squawk (Madeleine):Oh.
Lysander (Jay):That's not supposed to happen. You guys alright down there?
Rolo (Phil):Yeah.
CAM (Tito):No.
Squawk (Madeleine):He didn't believe in himself.
Guide (Chris):So beetles are starting to land on the ship and starting to crawl in through the holes.
Squawk (Madeleine):Okay. I can't deal with this my new friends and this man, this pi... this captain person getting threatened. So I'm gonna fly back up and start stomping on scarabs because I'm getting mad now.
Guide (Chris):Okay. There are a couple of scarabs on deck. You can start stomping them.
Rolo (Phil):Oh, good. Good. Good.
Guide (Chris):Lysander, are you doing anything?
Lysander (Jay):I was gonna head down, but then Squawk comes running up. So I'm gonna be up there with her swatting at the beetles.
Guide (Chris):Okay.
Squawk (Madeleine):I knew it.
Guide (Chris):CAM and Rolo, what are you guys doing?
CAM (Tito):Okay. Rolo, there's a new plan.
Rolo (Phil):I am listening.
CAM (Tito):Press every single button until this thing flies.
Rolo (Phil):I'm so down with that plan. Okay.
CAM (Tito):Start hitting every button on the on the panel.
Rolo (Phil):I'm hitting buttons too.
Guide (Chris):Every button.
Rolo (Phil):Oh what about these switches on the ceiling? I flip them all.
Guide (Chris):All around the ship, like, doors are slamming open. You know, cupboards are crashing. And then suddenly, the sail snaps open, and it billows out. And all of sudden, the ship, like, strains up against the pilings and something creaks, something snaps, and it resists like it shouldn't really be flying.
Guide (Chris):Lysander and Squawk, you see, like, the ship is actually starting to, like, surge, and you notice that, like, there are some ropes over the back of the ship that look like they're looped down around the pilings.
Squawk (Madeleine):Right.
Lysander (Jay):We gotta cut them ropes!
Squawk (Madeleine):I've gotta cut the... Okay, time for some serious pecking. Frantic, high speed pecking, rope pecking with my lethal recently sharpened beak. I peck like I've never pecked before.
Lysander (Jay):And I start shooting thorns at it.
Squawk (Madeleine):Oh, yeah. I have knives. I forgot. Yeah. The pecking is for show, but I also simultaneously hack with my knives.
Guide (Chris):Okay. So you guys basically hack away at the ropes. And then as you do it and the ropes drop away, the ship tears free from the ground and starts to lift off. The deck shifts as the ship tilts precariously all the way to one side, and then it swings all the way to the opposite like it's trying to steady itself. And then you rise up from the clearing starting to gain speed, and a few tall trees clip the hull with a scraping groan, and you see some wooden planks tear free and drop down into the swamp below.
Lysander (Jay):Oh, I betcha we're gonna need those.